Soldier
by WriteToLive
Summary: A mission somewhere and Jack is angry. Semi-song fic, lyrics from 'Til I Collapse' by Eminem. One chapter only.


Soldier

**..._cos sometimes you feel tired…you feel weak…_**

**_...when you feel weak…you feel like you just wanna give up…_**

**..._but then you gotta search within you, find that inner strength…_**

**..._and just pull that shit outta you, and get that motivation not to give up…_**

**..._and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you just wanna fall flat on your face…_**

**..._and collapse…_**

He ran, feeling the heat of the explosion, hearing the gunshots flying by his head. Pure adrenaline kept his mind clear, pure anger kept him running. He would not fall, he would not fail, these people would _never_ bring him down.

Another day, another mission. One more threat against the country that had given birth to him, a man designed never to stop fighting. And he was angry, he was sick, he was wounded. But these people would not win.

Raise your gun Jack. Aim and fire. Then run, take cover, raise the gun again. Again and again. Over and over. Fuck them. They could burn, these bastards that forced him to do this, these people that dared to threaten, tried to bring the fight to his door.

Fire ran through his veins as he reloaded, his heart pumped pure energy with every pulse that rang through his body. Shouts reached him from the backup teams that always seemed to be ten minutes behind. That was OK by him, it gave him the chance to get in there and inflict the most damage, the killer blow that would end it all. He was the individual who would bring the fight to the heart of the enemy. He would find the centre, seek out the one who conducted the mayhem like a maestro with his orchestra – and he'd raise a gun to his head and blow his brains all over the wall in a mess of thick red blood and grey matter. He'd let the blood spill onto his hands and then get up and walk away, ready to do it all again tomorrow.

…_**till the roof comes off, till the lights go out…**_

…**_till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth…_**

His breath was shallow and quick as he ran, covering distance with ease. His side burned with pain as he paused behind a wall, blood poured but he ignored it. Screams reached him as men ran, their clothes on fire from the mortar that had struck the building. Reload. They deserved it. _Let them burn_. He was feeling no pain, just the roar of blood in his ears as adrenaline set his veins on fire and caused him to itch with desire to run, screaming, howling, right up to the front door of this building and smash it down with his bare fists. He could see nothing but the target, think of nothing but victory. He would not stop. They would _not_ win.

…_**till the smoke clears out and my high burns out…**_

…**_I'm'a rip this shit, till my bones collapse…_**

The building behind exploded, bathing him in light and heat. That was his cue. The doors opened and men poured out, limbs broken, blood everywhere, screaming, running, fighting to taste air, falling over each other to escape the wrath they could feel coming. He paused, waiting, feeling the fury race through him, controlling it, tasting it, waiting for it to build into a hard ball in his stomach where it would pulse and fight to get free like a wolf caged. But not yet. It would have to wait. It howled at him, screaming for release…

Time to move. Signals from men barely seen in the haze were unnecessary – they think he needed them? The smell of burning flesh assaulted his nostrils as he moved silently, creeping inside the world that blazed around him and seared against his flesh. He could feel the anger of the fire as it fought to rage, welcomed the fuel that helped him to keep moving. _Why was he hiding from him?_ Did he think he could escape?

…_**you're coming with me, feel it or not…**_

…_**you're gonna fear it…**_

The lights were gone, everything was lit by flames. Every room was checked, every hallway covered. He could sense his prey, in the only place left he could be. One more room, closed in, no escape.

The fist came from the darkness, a blow that would fell a normal man on a normal day. But nothing about this was normal. _Take it. Suck it up. Use it._ The pain shot straight to the knotted ball inside, adding heat, adding fuel, adding rage and it grew and boiled until it was overheating, spilling over and he could no longer control it, it bit through the bars of its cage, unleashed its howling rage. He was an animal set free, a machine that would not stop as he swirled, ducked and returned fire with fists that bit with the sheer force of his will. They would kill tonight, these arms, because that's what they were told to do, that's what they did. Whether they shot a gun or twisted bone and tendon until something snapped, they were the instruments of death that he carried with him at all times, his allies, his last line of defence against a world that would do anything to take him out. _But not tonight_.

Blows landed, ribs broke. Blood flowed, it poured, it covered the ground. He wouldn't stop. The target was still moving, still trying to get up, to get out, to escape this creature that broke through his walls and smashed through his defences in a whirling blaze of flying fists and shimmering anger.

…_**this is your moment and every single minute you spend tryin' to hold onto it – cos you may never get it again…**_

It had stopped moving. Stopped trying to get up and run, stopped trying to mount a resistance that had always been futile. It lay beaten and he wanted to kill it again, couldn't believe that it had been this easy. Fury for the its actions turned to fury at its weakness…_get up and fight me you fucking pussy, this can't be over yet_…but suddenly there were hands on him, pulling him away and he fought some more, fought the restraints, fought everything that held him back, silently screaming at the heavens to let him be free, let him let go of this, let him lose hold on everything and just fly until he crashed to the ground in a spent heap of charred and blackened flesh. _Let go of me…_

…_**while you're in it try and get as much shit as you can…**_

…_**and when your run is over admit when it's at an end…**_

The wolf retreated and he fell, the fight left him and took all his strength with it. Now he could feel the blood that poured from his side, the tear from the bullet that would leave another mark on his battle-scarred skin. Another reminder of the sacrifices he made, another signpost that pointed to where his humanity lay.

But the other mark was deeper, that scar that couldn't be seen, and it hurt more as he sat and tried to remember to breathe. They were dragging him out now, it was over, the building would go down and the target was dead. They left him alone, figured he was OK, congratulated him on another job well done.

No one knew how much it hurt when the rage took over, no one could see how much the righteous fury burned holes that could never be repaired. The animal was back in it's cage, already dozing – but he knew it was still there, one eye half open, ready to rise and leap into snarling attack at the next sign of threat. He knew it, and it scared him – but comforted him too. Because when it was gone, he was dead.

He pulled himself up and started walking. Just another soldier, using death to fight for life.

…_**you gotta search within you…find that inner strength…**_

…_**I will not fall…**_

…_**I will stand tall… **_


End file.
